kritical Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 -- From customers -- Me: The phone number is 0867.. Customer: Is that the big zero or the little zero? Email from Customer - "My email isn't working" Customer: It says "Can't find modem" Me: Is your modem plugged in? Customer: I need a modem to use the internet?! Me: Can you click on "Start" please? Customer: Just hold on a second there buddy, don't use your geek speak with me say it in language I can understand. Me: Can you click on "Start" please sir? Customer: It says "There is no Dial-Tone" Me: Can you pick up your phone and make sure theres a dialtone? Customer: No there was a crash outside our house and the phones disconnected -- Stupid things I've said -- Customer: Sorry for being so stupid Me: That's okay Me: Okay what does it say now? Customer: Where do I look? Me: After where you just typed your username and password Customer: Where do I find that? Me: Right in front of your eyes? (After I said that the customer exploded.. ended up ringing my manager and said that after the call she cried.. whoops) ----- Hope that makes someone laugh =P~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 unfortunantly that just scratches the surface of what Ive seen from other sites who have posted similar IT logs. The lines from yourself I can understand... I regularly have to bite my tounge with people. And othertimes you just say it and think... oops. My best one was saying thank you for the inconvience instead of sorry... luckily he didnt pick up on that =p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomik Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 thank god i moved up from the customer service sort of thing, can't handle talking to people on the phone all day....admin is much cruiser... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawty_nz Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 LOL kritical thats the funniest shit ever, and I thought my people were stupid, we do online surveys and in the mail out we give them a personal ID code and they dont know how to cut and paste... also if we right the web link in that sint a hyperlink they email back saying i clicked it and nothing happened... then when you tell them to type it into the addy bar or copy and paste it a) they dont know what the addy bar is and b) once again they dont know how to cut and paste... these are people that didnt know what to do were aged 20 - 40ish? the oldest lady we had was 87 and she knew how to do everything! go old people!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kritical Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 go old people!!! Honestly... I've run through stuff with kids who can hardly spell their own name and can still use a computer better than most =P~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madz Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 the oldest lady we had was 87 and she knew how to do everything! go old people!!! Impressive for someone officially classed as being at the further end of the digital immigrant spectrum. I've been asking friends/lecturers/tech support guys some really, reeeeally stupid questions of a similar nature recently regarding my new ibook (certainly worthy of qoutation in this thread, but I've had my share of public humiliation for today). In my defense, I have never used the apple sytem before- it's not that different but occasionally I get hopelessly and have to resort to the computer-illiterate-damsel-in-distress routine. It didn't occur to me to read the guide/manual thingy it came with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Known One Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 I remember working at Ihug, a collegue told me about a guy who was asked to "close any open windows"... so as you might guess he dropped the phone, went around the house and literally closed all his windows Maybe you should move into this inventive field of tech support Kritical... Check this out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kritical Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 WILL FIX COMPUTERS FOR SEXUAL FAVORS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Heres some from the depth of the pAKAGe files: Me "Ok, so what version of windows are you running?" Customer "Microsoft word" Me "Ok, so what version of windows are you running?" Customer "Windows 97" Me "Ok, so what version of windows are you running?" Customer "XP" Me "Ok, click on the start button in the bottom left of your screen" Customer "I dont have a start button in the bottom left" Me "Hmm, well, if you are running XP there should be a start button in one of the corners of your screen" Customer "Well, i cant see a start button.. there is an icon that looks like an apple in the top left corner though" Worst call i ever had i think was this chick that took over 45 minutes to plug her router in. Now, there are only 3 cables that need to be plugged in, and they are all different and only fit into one place on the router.. There is a power cable which plugs into the power point on the wall and the router.. the phone cord, which plugs into the phone jack and the router, and then the ethernet cable which plugs into the router and the back of the comuter... 45 minutes...... soooo frustrating.. Then to top it off, the customer's phone cord wouldnt reach the phone jack from where her computer is.. And it took me over an hour to explain the following concept to her: If your phone cable cant reach the phone jack you have 2 options. Either move your computer closer to the phone jack and use the cords you currently have. Or, Move just the router closer to the phone jack, and use a long cable inbetween the router and the computer. She kept wanting to use a phone extension cord inbetween the router and the phone jack.. And it took me an hour to explain to her that the cable inbetween the router and the phone jack must be the standard 1M cable that comes with it, she cant use an extension phone cord, because the signal will degrade too much along it and her modem will not be able to pick up the internet signal. But because her router has power, it amplifies the signal before it sends it to the computer and hence she can have a long cable between the router and her computer without a problem. So yeah.. that call took pretty much 2 hours.. and all she had to do is plug in 3 cables, and then i had to explain to her she needed to use a short phone cable but can use a long ethernet cable... goddam... Its not even technical.. just common sense.. some people are retarded i swear!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madz Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I find that jobs that necessitate lots of interaction with the general public tend to eventually destroy the little remaining faith you have in society. Humans? the most intellectually advanced species? How depressing. That said, some people just don't have an aptitude for tech stuff. I confess, I spent a good 10 minutes working myself into a fury over a mouse that just wouldn't bloody well work (I don't like the trackpad). So then my friend plugged it in I hate when stuff like that happens. There's just nothing you can say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 hell yeah! i cant wait to get the hell off the helpdesk and get into my programming! then i dont have to deal with these idiot customers anymore ;P :axe: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 ah ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madz Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I've never actually worked in a help desk, my distaste for dealing with people is the product of bar work. Possibly worse than a help desk in that the idiots you're dealing with are in various states of intoxication, make frequent attempts to man-handle you, and feel perfectly entitled to be as rude as they like. On the up side, you can tell them fuck off and threaten to cut off their beer supply. Worst incident involved a 26yr old (ie old enough to know better) who managed to get so drunk that not only did she pass out on the bathroom floor, try to fight me as I attempted to help her and throw up spectacularly all over herself, She also pissed herself. There she lay, flailing violently and raving unintelligably in puddles of her own vomit and urine. I nearly died laughing. Then I realised that I would probably be roped into cleaning it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 nasty! what bar do ya work at?! sounds a bit rugged :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. MuN Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Yeah I used to work at the Xtra Helpdesk a few years back, the shit people used to ring up about was stupid (and working at the Xtra Helpdesk sucked also). Customer: How do i watch dvds on my computer, i have a CD Writer? Me: well 1) That wont work 2) what does that have to do with your Xtra account? I also had someone ring up once and ask me if the cursor was after the word how to delete it without clicking infront if it and pressing delete. took me 20 minutes, but i managed to explain where, and how to use the backspace key... Whenever I talk to those people I hear Jim Henson's the Muppets in my head.. weird..? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madz Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 nasty! what bar do ya work at?! sounds a bit rugged :shock: The Kingslander Don't work there anymore because it is a god forsaken hell-hole/cesspit of human filth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D 1 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 i remember that sess pit and the stories arrrrh wat a headache it must have been Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawty_nz Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 WILL FIX COMPUTERS FOR SEXUAL FAVORS REALLY?!?! How about this then… You fix my computer for me and Nato will give you the sexual favours I discussed it with him and he was more than happy to help out a mate Because I have had my computer since 1999 and not once, never ever has it been cleaned out there are temp files from way back then as well. Problem was that we never knew how to clean it out and now I still wouldn’t trust myself to do it, cause girls usually fuck up technology somewhere along the line. Anyway it has so much shit on it that when I go to use it always crashes sometimes I won’t even load and it goes to ont that blue screen with some stupid message that I cant understand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kritical Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 REALLY?!?! How about this then… You fix my computer for me and Nato will give you the sexual favours hmmm [-( Dudes have to pay their hard earned $$$, you must have neglected to read the fine print =P~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 nasty! what bar do ya work at?! sounds a bit rugged :shock: The Kingslander Don't work there anymore because it is a god forsaken hell-hole/cesspit of human filth Is that the one on the corner of bond street and new north? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawty_nz Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 hmmm [-( Dudes have to pay their hard earned $$$, you must have neglected to read the fine print =P~ Awww BUT Im not a dude and i have no $$ i spent it all on lunch! PLUS there was no fine print! [-( so i think i have made you a valid offer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 did you actually go to the link and read that article shawty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kritical Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 REALLY?!?! How about this then… You fix my computer for me and Nato will give you the sexual favours Awww BUT Im not a dude and i have no $$ i spent it all on lunch! PLUS there was no fine print! [-( so i think i have made you a valid offer! Yes BUT nato is a dude.. and the fine print was microscopic.. here is it enlarged for your reading pleasure =P~ No dudes! Dudes pay their hard earned cash and lots of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Yeah, to be honest I wasn't really that into the whole idea aye. Glad they put in a subclause to protect me from Shawty pimping out my body to the nearest computer tech. No offense Kritical, you're just not my type.....too much balls an shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawty_nz Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 did you actually go to the link and read that article shawty? What link? what article? wea wea wea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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