Pakage Posted May 12, 2007 Author Share Posted May 12, 2007 bahaha! bit soon? meh, fuck it. its still funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwijunglist Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 Funny Story Boeing 737 stuck in city road Residents of the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay) are wondering how long it will take to remove a disused Boeing 737 that has been abandoned in a busy road. Full Story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/6620461.stm - The whole story is a total crack up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 the pilot was probably stopping off for some jaffas and a pie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Known One Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 second and third one made me laugh - nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted May 25, 2007 Author Share Posted May 25, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo Custard Posted May 26, 2007 Share Posted May 26, 2007 haha thats gold ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teknik Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 what's long, thin and smells of piss? pensioners doing the conga. what has nine arms and sucks? def leppard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LyraKil Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 right this is a bit rugged but hey its only a joke.\ why cant you trust woman????? because they bleed for more than 7days and dont die. bahahahahahahahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fulltimeplay Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 THE LOVE DRESS A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work." The daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But you're naked!" "Justin loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours." The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually. "Needs ironing, " he said, "What's for dinner?". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted May 30, 2007 Author Share Posted May 30, 2007 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugsy Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 so the doctor comes out to tell the parents about their newlyborn kid. doctor says "i have good news and bad news" parents say "ok give us bad news first" doctor says "its a ginga" parents are like "ok whats the good news?" doctor says "its stillborn" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teret Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 BAHAHAHAHAH. gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 so the doctor comes out to tell the parents about their newlyborn kid. doctor says "i have good news and bad news" parents say "ok give us bad news first" doctor says "its a ginga" parents are like "ok whats the good news?" doctor says "its stillborn" Haaaahaha, that is so wrong. You'll be lucky if pak or kritical don't ban your ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 so the doctor comes out to tell the parents about their newlyborn kid. doctor says "i have good news and bad news" parents say "ok give us bad news first" doctor says "its a ginga" parents are like "ok whats the good news?" doctor says "its stillborn" Haaaahaha, that is so wrong. You'll be lucky if pak or kritical don't ban your ass. heh, he msn'd it to me just after he posted it! its all good.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fulltimeplay Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 I thought this one was kinda funny in a stupid way... A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the guy. "He eats everything in sight. Sorry. I'll pay for everything." The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves. Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it in his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry in his butt, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted July 22, 2007 Author Share Posted July 22, 2007 Did you know that Eagles mate for life? Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. He went looking and found her. She had been shot. Dead! Harry was devastated. After about six minutes of mourning, he decided that he must get himself another mate. But he decided he might like to cross the feather barrier. So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely DOVE and brought her back to the nest. The sex was OK but all the DOVE would say was "I am a DOVE I want to Love! I am a DOVE I want to love!" Well this got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the Dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate. He found a very sexy LOON and brought her back to the nest; again the sex was great, but all the LOON would say was "I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON I want to spoon!" Egads, out with the LOON. Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous DUCK, so He brought the DUCK back to the nest. Again the sex was great, but all the DUCK would say was...well ....... Scroll down. No ...... the DUCK didn't say THAT!!!!! What an awful thing to think! Scroll a little further The Duck actually said, "I am a DRAKE you made a MISTAKE!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fulltimeplay Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? Last year's hide and seek winner. :idea: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted October 7, 2007 Author Share Posted October 7, 2007 So theyve started already... -- Whats the difference between the ABs and a teabag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer!! -- Whats the difference between Viagra and Graham Henry? Viagra will atleast get you a semi -- You hear about the new All Black bra? All the support but no cup -- Now dont get me wrong, i support the AB's all the way, i just thought these were worth a chuckle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dold Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 man shit gets round fast I heard all these at work today heh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted December 22, 2008 Author Share Posted December 22, 2008 POTENTIALLY vs REALISTICALLY A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes..." "Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but Realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo." thanks nato. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeb Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 POTENTIALLY vs REALISTICALLY A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes..." "Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but Realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo." thanks nato. that is fuckin dope bro.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perceptualChaos Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 A guy and a girl are having hot, hard, sweaty, dirty sex and after much hammering the guy pulls out, shoots all over her face and rolls over and lights a smoke. After some silence the guy looks over and says "so how was it" chick says "to be honest that was pretty bizarre." guys says "Bizarre huh?? That's a pretty big word for a six year old"..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted December 7, 2010 Author Share Posted December 7, 2010 What's the difference between jelly and jam? I cant jelly my dick in your mums ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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