Teret Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I've missed the origin of this truly amazing subject. But can someone please define 'sit'? If you are lifting your cock with the left and going through the porcelain/groin canal with a bunch of 2-ply in the right* whilst your cheeks are firmly planted on the bowl I am seriously disturbed. *I've looked at this from a right hander's perspective. edit: Sam has his shit down (no pun intended) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nato Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I've missed the origin of this truly amazing subject. But can someone please define 'sit'? If you are lifting your cock with the left and going through the porcelain/groin canal with a bunch of 2-ply in the right* whilst your cheeks are firmly planted on the bowl I am seriously disturbed. *I've looked at this from a right hander's perspective. edit: Sam has his shit down (no pun intended) You crazy standers. I don't think any sitters go through the legs. It's a slight lean to the side and you reach round the back. Any through the leg technique would require a back to front wiping direction which is just asking for trouble. You should always wipe away from the guch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thr339z Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I've missed the origin of this truly amazing subject. But can someone please define 'sit'? If you are lifting your cock with the left and going through the porcelain/groin canal with a bunch of 2-ply in the right* whilst your cheeks are firmly planted on the bowl I am seriously disturbed. *I've looked at this from a right hander's perspective. edit: Sam has his shit down (no pun intended) You crazy standers. I don't think any sitters go through the legs. It's a slight lean to the side and you reach round the back. Any through the leg technique would require a back to front wiping direction which is just asking for trouble. You should always wipe away from the guch. what mr nato said... going thru the legs ? thats just some crazy shit...almost as crazy as standing and bunching IMO.... thats just plain wrong and boggles the mind more than dropping a quadruple dipped fat freddies after reading a few chapters on string theory< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teret Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 You should always wipe away from the guch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Known One Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 While we're on the subject... does anyone else employ the advanced technique of the pre-dump bed of toilet paper to reduce splash back? (Except in the case of a stenchy log which needs immediate immersion to reduce the waft) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Awesome Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Can't say I've ever had a problem with splash back. That's only an Achieved with Merit. If you modulate your bum clench mid-push you can decelerate the rate at which the poop evacuates itself, causing gentle plops rather than forceful/accelerating (and therefore splash inducing) squeezes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penco Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 splash back means your winning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Known One Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 only an issue for man turds... doc need not apply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teret Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Can't say I've ever had a problem with splash back. That's only an Achieved with Merit. If you modulate your bum clench mid-push you can decelerate the rate at which the poop evacuates itself, causing gentle plops rather than forceful/accelerating (and therefore splash inducing) squeezes. bum-clench mid push is some proper rookie business. Any pro will tell you the key to sphincter control is letting the bowels void themselves before closing naturally at the end of the round. This also reduces the need for 2-ply. I'm cutting back on my landing pads and only use them in common facilities these days. Having said this anything under a 40 sheet LP in an Auckland City public toilet is reckless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thr339z Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Thread gets better and better...... Splash pad residual collateral splash control in full effect... standard for any defacation station... .. As far as bum clench control... I belive that you let things slide ... and dont force the evacuation of the bowel unless theres some serious constipation issues. My father had quite bad hehmmoroids and went in for an operation when I was around ten.. and his pearl of wisdom has never left me.. "when you go for a shit DO NOT force it, never EVER EVER! other wise you will experience this horror" and I firmly stand by that wisdom Now to up the ante a lil/// now we have discussed the merrits and logical nature of sitting and folding and splash pads against the insanity of the stand and bunch now riddle me this... let me paint a hypothetical @ said out door event/camp/bushwalk.. and the call of nature makes you call into the natural world... whats the best method? recently whilst in the tropics i was afflicted with 9 days of powerful shits and had to remaster the art of the bush squat and shuffle... was very liberating to say the least. The chains that bind us to the commode were torn away and i could hang my self in the breeze and do the deed... BUt when doing so had to squat and shuffle forward slightly as to not douse my pantalombs in poo... are there any other methods? I also implimented the natural and biggest toilet we have on the planet , only because i was so drunk and stoned and marching with charles ( that I didnt want to get out of the water and run to the toilet) so I removed my swimmers and dropped a liquid firety coil into the ocean<< this was on day 6 of epic shits btw... and I will tell you what? I nearly gave up on toilets all together.... there was a distinct pleasure and oneness with nature and being part of the cycle of life that would only come with shitting in the ocean... thoughts criticisms theories.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taiko Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Sooo, you were floating in your own shit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thr339z Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Sooo, you were floating in your own shit? ...no... the sea tends to have waves and tides so poo was dispersed evenly and with out catastrphic tidel poo particles invading my immediate area Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pakage Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 The other weekend we were out on the boat and Jay took a dump when he was having a swim. I cracked up at the absurdity it of briefly simply due to how far from the norm it was, but i have to say i was intrigued and had i needed to take a shit i would have given it a go. In fact, i was kind of gutted that i didnt need to poop because i really wanted to try it. Id imagine it to be a very liberating experience. Ive never done it before, but watch out if you're swimming with me this summer, i may indeed take a sneaky floater when you're looking the other way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Awesome Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 This thread is like the eye infection everyone who goes swimming with Craig this summer is going to get. Just keeps on giving. What if you do a floater? How do you wipe clean the Anus? What if it's runny/liquid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Awesome Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Can't say I've ever had a problem with splash back. That's only an Achieved with Merit. If you modulate your bum clench mid-push you can decelerate the rate at which the poop evacuates itself, causing gentle plops rather than forceful/accelerating (and therefore splash inducing) squeezes. bum-clench mid push is some proper rookie business. Any pro will tell you the key to sphincter control is letting the bowels void themselves before closing naturally at the end of the round. This also reduces the need for 2-ply. No no, I don't mean to clench, I mean to relax/stop the muscle movements involved with a normal shit. Maybe it's just me and my dexterous bottom again? As Redstar said forcing it out is just gonna end badly.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C Steppa Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 Everyone should take an Aqua-Kak at some point in their life. Good times. Also an Alpine Log is high on my to do list. (snow shit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thr339z Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 Aqua-Kak LOL Aqua-Kak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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