The Horror of Workplace 'Social' Events

[Madz]

They're always lame, from the first instant that Resident Ass-Bandit suggests it at the staff meeting, through the half-hearted organisational delegation process, to it’s excruciating culmination, ‘Staff Social Drinks’.

 

To me the word ‘Social’ implies that one has some desire to be there. By making it compulsory, by removing all choice from the matter, does not the ‘Social’ aspect become obsolete?

 

The staff room fills with an awkward conglomeration of desperate plebs and those of us who do actually manage to sustain some degree of social life but have, on this unfortunate occasion, failed to come up with a plausible reason to miss this horrible ‘Drinks’. The socially inept begin boozing up and schmeazing their way around the room as the rest, plunging into suicidal depression, begin to fervently pray for sweet release, for 1:00pm when this can all be over.

 

I resorted to wearing my sunglasses which, although encourages speculation about my suspected substance abuse, does go some way toward deterring those poor deluded souls that actually consider such events as plausible means of building rapport with colleagues. Should you unwittingly catch their gaze for even a second, nay, split second they will, with spectacular determination, twist this inadvertent eye contact into an invitation to converse.

 

I fucking hate it. I couldn’t even get drunk because I’m taking Coldrex for the violent flu that is currently raping my immune system. Perhaps this is just as well, as alcohol tends to diminish my criteria for whom I will and will not interact with. A momentary slip would’ve landed me in one of those Intellectual-Black-Hole Conversations.

 

Does your boss inflict shit like this on you? Is there not some directive in the Human’s Right Bill against this?

[Future One]

Supposed to be going to a "day drinking" thing at Deshlers tomorrow... Dont think I'll bother though.

[Pakage]

poor you

 

We have things like that at my work, usually about once a month. But actually they usually go quite well.. since i work with about 5 people i consider good friends, we just hang out and chat together and have a few free heinekens.

 

I then return to my desk usually pretty cut to try and fumble my way through customers computers solving their connectivity issues that they undoubtely brought apon themself whilst messing with stuff they had no idea what it did, and then have the guts to call me and say its my fault.

 

 

What makes your workmates soo impossible to enjoy a beer with?

[Richard M]

Yeah... Free Piss... Nufsef~!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I mean... if they're that bad... just take another sip/skull~!

[Madz]

Maybe I sound harsh. Illness seems to bring out a violent (and somewhat uncharacteristic) misanthropy in normally-mild-and-meek Madz.

 

Jesus on crack, I swear, I'm dying and not just in the Sylvia Plath(/entropic nature of everything) way that we're all dying. I wonder if dying would be an acceptable excuse for not finishing this proposal?

[Princess007]

Nothing wrong with being courteous, making and appearance and leaving. Usually work "Social" drinky sessions are about a couple of hours. Bring a sense of belonging to the organisation, if you got off your high horse and made a bit of an effort it wouldn't seem so bad.

 

SOunds like the only thing making it such a drag is your attitude towards it.

 

Work mates are not there to be friends, but general work courtesy goes a long way, rather than a mighter than thou approach.

[Madz]

Thanks Princess, that's the first time I've laughed today. It hurt, but I liked it. Perhaps that's another facet of my over-all attitude problem too?

[Future One]

HAHAHA!!!

[Dold]

haha.

 

Last year when I worked we always had beers at the end of the day on friday, personally I enjoyed it. I guess it just depends on your work mates though.. Mine were all good cunts..

Madz, get off your high horse

[Pakage]

get off you got off your high horse

 

ahk.. so you get off your high horse by kissing the bosses asses?

 

it all makes sense to me now....

 

:armata_pdt_07:

 

workmates should be friends imo.. it makes the day soo much easier when you have someone you actually enjoy hanging out with sitting next to you rather than some nub that you wish would throw his chair at the window and jump out already..

 

and yes, being sick makes even the best of us cranky.. that night and day shit is cracked out huh.. its pretty amazing how much it can help you through the day when you're ill though..

 

just dont try and smoke it and you'll b sweet

 

[Grind]

Nothing wrong with being courteous, making and appearance and leaving.

 

I agree- especially if you actually want to make something of your job, get a good reference, move up the chain etc... Most employers when checking references will ask 'how did they fit in with the team / social environment'. Nobody likes a square!!!

 

I like to keep work and play separate but there's one thing I like more..

 

and that's sinking piss!!!

 

Nothing like getting completely sloshed for free, all under the pretence of company morale.. also.. if you want to spice up your mundane 9-5 existence.. you could screw one of your workmates!!!

 

PS Madz- you can drink on Coldrex.. in fact, I highly recommend it.. it's pseudoephredine right? You'd be on good form

[Kael]

By making it compulsory, by removing all choice from the matter, does not the ‘Social’ aspect become obsolete?

 

So if you choose not to go to some gay social event with the apparent losers that you work with you could potentially lose your job?? Its not like they own you or anything. You get paid to work, what? from 9 til 5 or whatever, not to go to social events. Well I certainly don't get paid to go to those, or rather I've never actually been anywhere that has them quite thankfully. I shudder at the prospect of spending time with my colleagues outside of work. But anyways...

 

Outside of work hours your boss shouldn't be able to tell you what to do with your life. Its your life, you get to choose. What obligation is there to obey him? If they have social evenings in future, just don't turn up. There isn't a whole lot anyones going to be able to do about it, they'll have to just get over it.

[Makky2]

my first job outta uni was awesome. work social events usually comprised of a rad dinner at some rad restaurant paid for by the company and then gettn wasted at some bar and not gettn home till late at nite.

these days at my current work social events are either Laser Strike or Ten pin bowling :|

[Madz]

Madz, get off your high horse

 

But I like my high horse. I gives me the necessary elevation to get over my 'short man syndrome'.

 

Yes, that's right, you heard me. I'm bitter because I'm small and my frail little body is currently caught in the cruel clutches of influenza. I normally like my workmates, but somehow the sicker I get, the more striking their resemblence of satan's spawn. Maybe I'm getting delirious.

 

Thanks Grind, pseudoephedrine +alchol sounds like just the recipe.

 

Further updates as events warrant.

[Pakage]

you should check out the christmas parties at my work yo.. theyre off the hook! id post up some of the pics that we got on the shared drive here, but ill probably get my ass kicked

 

[kritical]

You're a talented writer Madz ;P

 

In my oppinion if I'm getting paid to get drunk, this is good.

 

If it's in my own time.. but the drinks are free.. this is okay.

 

If it's in my own time.. and the drinks aren't free.. and it's compulsary.. kill me now.

 

I could see how this might not apply to everyone due to the fact I'm an alcoholic in training

[Madz]

Edited September 26, 2006 by Guest

[kritical]

I officially retract my previous statement regarding your writing talents

[mike]

Does your boss inflict shit like this on you? Is there not some directive in the Human’s Right Bill against this?

 

...Love it

 

I was friends with most of the people I worked with so it was all a good laugh for the end-of-year drinks. Plus the occasional afterwork optional on a Friday was cool.

 

Making it compulsary seems like a laugh though.

[Princess007]

I have never come across a workplace contract that makes after work social activities "compulsary".

 

Infact if the board members could, they wouldn't have this at all, its all done to promote work place harmony.

 

Just like they are told by HR to promote joining the social group etc.

 

You do have a choice to attend or not to. Just making an appearance now and then is good idea. Maybe if its a large enough organisation, you can invite a friend or two along, .

[Madz]

I have never come across a workplace contract that makes after work social activities "compulsary".

 

Infact if the board members could, they wouldn't have this at all, its all done to promote work place harmony.

 

Just like they are told by HR to promote joining the social group etc.

 

With respect, since when are you the authority on the individual conventions of workplace organisations?

 

You do have a choice to attend or not to. Just making an appearance now and then is good idea. Maybe if its a large enough organisation, you can invite a friend or two along, .

 

I make appearances everyday. I call it 'going to work'. The particular I was talking about was a lunch/afternoon slosh session. Our Station Manager, Craig (aka Amon Ra), informed that I WOULD be attending. I protested and was shut down, swiftly. I'd have thrown my weight around, but 51kgs doesn't make a lot of impact. Even less when you're the eighteen year old intern, taken even less seriously for the fact that you're a girl (the only girl in News, one of only three in the entire station).

[Kael]

I'm sure you could take him Thai boxers average on 5 ft 5" (max) and weigh approximately 50 - 56kgs and they're the hardest kickers in the world

Of course there is the whole, you know fired for attacking the boss thing, the possible assualt charges, no future references, not to mention the loss of credibility, but hey where's the fun in life if you don't get to kick someone in the head every now and then.

[Madz]

Of course there is the whole, you know fired for attacking the boss thing, the possible assualt charges, no future references, not to mention the loss of credibility, but hey where's the fun in life if you don't get to kick someone in the head every now and then.

 

Best post ever.

[Known One]

waa waa waa... my work made me stop working and get on the piss... waa waa waa

 

granted u were sick... but come on.

[Kael]

I thought you'd appreciate that. Sometimes its just so so worth it (especially for the idiots of the world a.k.a people in general) and all the repercussions in the world are irrelevant at the time/event of the proposed kicking.

 

It makes me feel all tingly inside... *elated sigh